A very good friend of mine just posted this on facebook, and I thought I'd share. Its informative AND entertaining! You may not understand all of the terms... but thats ok. Enjoy!
A Lesson in Domestication!
A Lesson in Domestication!
Okay Enough is enough. I don't know what is going on with people lately but people are acting so brand new when it comes to their personal relationships, friendships and their own habits. People(myself included) are acting so BASIC and its gotten to the point where I just can't take it anymore. Like Moses, I feel like I've been Chosen to lead us out of Egypt and into the promise land of Domestication Nation! If you think you're not gonna like what I have to say, simply click on that arrow in the top left corner and it'll boot you from this page. I'm calling people out. ( I won't say no names cuz Destiny's child taught us in 2001 not to diss ppl on the internet...For more details listen to the hit single "Survivor") Don't worry, I'll be calling myself out too cuz we all know I'm a hot damn mess.
FIRST- If you're constantly having to guess, or draw pie charts and bar graphs to come to a conclusion about how that person feels about you, let me give you the simplest conclusion. They probably DON'T FEEL ANYTHING FOR YOU OR ABOUT YOU. atleast not substantial enough to let you know. TRUST ME, if someone likes you, they'll let you know. you won't need sherlock holmes to solve the mystery.SECOND-After you realize the person doesn't feel for you, don't try to force it. like Jo Dee Messina said, "I got pride and I'm taking it for a ride." (See her smash single "Bye Bye") Honeychild TAKE your pride, pat your weaves and PRETTY GIRL DIP out of that situation. It might hurt (it will) but again, TRUST me on this. you don't want to end up in a 14MONTH guessing game thats nothing but a confusing SITUATION. This brings me to my THIRD point.
If someone won't give you a TITLE, BOOT THEM!! (for example, if you own your vehicle, The DPS vehicle registration gives you a TITLE of the car with YOUR NAME on it.) If the person won't give you a title, BOOT!! Whatever their reasons are for not giving you one, they're not valid reasons. Those are what I call sorry ass excuses given by sorry ass people. TRUST TRUST TRUST me on this point the most. Straight, gay, black, white, purple, orange, male, female, one simple rule applies to all. IF SOMEONE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU, THEN THEY'LL GIVE YOU A TITLE. No excuses. be firm on this from the get go. it might make you seem a tad aggressive but atleast you won't be visiting this site. (www.thatshowyougetyourfeelingshurt.com) If you're dumb enough to not be clear on this from the get go, then you can only blame yourself. the only "title" you will get is a sideline ho, a jumpoff or at the best, a basic dip. This is like the same as getting a rental car. while it might satisfy you for a period of time, know that it doesnt belong to you. you're gonna have to return it soon and someone else will be there waiting to rent it out too. now lets move on to individual behaviors.
TEXTING- we all CONSTANTLY have our phones on or around our person. If someone texts you, IT IS RUDE to make someone wait extensively long for a response. (The author wants you to know that at this point, he had to go downstairs to make a rum and pineapple in order to not blast people for their texting habits). I understand we gotta play the game so spacing out a reply is okay but only to a certain point. you dont want to seem too available, but make sure you don't end up seeming like a rude bitch who thinks they're too good to respond to someone. If its just in the context of a friendship then its downright stupid to not respond. reply to your friends people, don't lie. you ain't doing nothing. (Jasmine don't call me a hypocrite I'm super lazy and forgetful you know I've been working on it!)
This next part about texting is CRUCIAL people. PLEASE don't make them Doctoral Dissertations. YOU ARE NOT writing an English Lit paper. It is so aggressive when you open up a message and suddenly find yourself wishing that your wireless service provider offered cliff notes for the messages you just received. you are not John Steinbeck or Jane Austen. NO ONE wants to read the Grapes of Wrath and even fewer people want to read Pride and Prejudice.
This brings me to my next point. Why do people aggressively feel the need to put their business out there? then they get mad when ppl talk about them. Ask anyone who knew me fall 08, spring 09 and fall 09. Yall my business was OUT THERE. And I was the one putting it out there by hot twatting and acting aggressively. When 2010 rolled around, I had a really good discussion with Cynthia and she told me the best way to get ppl not to talk about you is by not giving them anything to talk about. I mean I'm doing aggressive activities that clear out a garage (see cynthia's camera/nikki favor's 2009 birthday) and I wanna get mad when I get talked about. thats stupid. So I stopped hot twatting, stopped acting aggressively in public and just domesticated myself. how often do you now here OTHER ppl telling yall about me? exactly, anything that you hear, its usually coming from ME cuz now I am in control of what I put out there. And people in relationships, DON'T air your dirty laundry aggressively on fb with updates and status changes. thats how ppl get irritated with you and block you and your significant other. as I was thinking about this in class earlier, it dawned on me that XXXXXXX and XXXXXXX are actually a perfect example of a couple who does their "laundry properly". They're not perfect so I'm sure they argue but they take care of that ish in the privacy of their place of residence, not on the world wide web. and, they call others for advice and move on in a very civilized manner. so XXXXXXXXX and XXXXXXX, even though yall are aggressively cupcaking, good for yall for properly using the correct washer and dryer!!
FRIENDS and your relationships,
we all know that some of our friends and our significant others dont need to mix. I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping a healthy distance with them. now, don't hide and be all suspect but just watch it. they could end up bringing drama to your relationship or worse, STEALING YOUR PERSON. the following is from my website www.thatshowyougetyourman/womanstole.com
You know we all got some hoeish friends or just people in your life you shouldn't leave your significant other around. They are alright people, but they'll throw your ass under the bus and take your man/woman from you and if you're not careful you won't see it coming! If this person constantly asks about your man/woman and only wants to hang out with you when you're with your significant other, take this as a warning! If they're more worried about who you're dating, thats a red flag.Example. I was seeing someone fall 08. my friend and that person started hanging out. Long story short they both left and now live on a different continent together.
Friendships- It is important to have the right friends. those are the one's that will tell you about yourself and call you out. not those who will lie to you and let you make an ass out of yourself. (great friends let you make an ass out of yourself and then tell you all about it. See Matthew Slayter for further details).
How to deal with Cheaters- Just listen to irreplaceable by Beyonce. says it all. or Pull an XXXXXXXXXXXXXX and burn his/her shit in a bonfire and send em a pic. The XXXXXXXXXX approach works well too, send their ass a text saying its over then go have soul.southern food with your friends.
Hopefully this has been a help. I certainly know I feel better and to the person who "inspired" me to write this, I hope you realize that I'm now finally and completely done with the situation you've had me in. we can be friends but that part is GETTING THE BOOT!! (did I just air my dirty laundry?? lol couldn't resist)
Love,
XXXXXXXXXXX
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